Well, I Didn't Need To Hear That
by N.P. Windsnap
Summary: A series of fun Star Trek drabbles. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Trekies! It is I! N.P. Windsnap! The greatest Treki of all! Just kidding. I don't even know if I'm spelling Trekies right (blame the economy). I have come to carry on Lonnygriffon's (sorry if I misspelled that, again the economy) awesome series of drabbles. For those of you who haven't read "Do I Even Want to Know the While Story" it is a series of drabble that she created out of a list of 100 words, creating a different story for each word. feed idled to take on the challenge of taking 50 more words into my series of drabbles. Even though you don't have to read LG's story to understand mine, I strongly suggest you do if you want more laughs and more cries. So please enjoy! **

**I own nothing. **

Boo

Jim had a nasty habit of pulling the worst pranks. Whether they were a pie to the face or a shock in a handshake, everyone on the ship had suffered a prank, except for one. Ensign Pavel Chekov.

Yes that's right, everybody's favorite Russian wiz kid had escaped the Captain's pranks every time. He had a way of smelling them out like nobody's busyness. He explained once to McCoy that he had had eight older brothers in Russia and had learned to stay away from those kinds of things.

Once Jim heard this, he became determined.

He set it up so perfectly. He would call the Navigator down to Engineering where a hidden pie would spring out and hit him in the face. It was perfect!

What he hadn't expected was to see that his entire crew had dissipated right in front of him. All of the rooms rooms and hallways were empty, the stations deserted. Now that got his attention. Something was very, very wrong.

He decided to call Spock.

Jim opened his communicator.

"Kirk to Spock." He said uncomfortably.

"Captain?" Something was wrong. Spock sounded… afraid.

"SPOCK?" There was nothing but static. He switched channels. "Bones? Bones talk to me!"

"Jim! Jim hel-" he didn't finish his sentence before a cry rang out. Jim was running- no- sprinting for the bridge now. Before he could get there his communicator went off. Chekov's frightened voice rang loud and true and terrified.

"Keptin! Keptin help me!" The boy cried his Russian accent thick.

"Chekov? What happened?" Jim all but screamed into the device.

"I do not know! Somezing hit me in ze face and I could not zee! I do not know vhere I am! Keptin help me!" A wave of grim guilt rushed over Kirk. He'd caused the boy's capture. It was his fault.

"Keptin?!" He heard the boy scream.

"I'm right here Pavel." Jim said using the Russian's first name.

"One more zing." Chekov's voice was suddenly calm. That's when the light gave out. Jim felt the presence of another being in the room. Something leaned into his neck, icy breath running down his back.

"Boo," the voice whispered. The captain shrieked like a little girl. The lights flickered back on as he saw Chekov falling over laughing.

"You shriek like leetle girl!" Chekov cried between fits of laughter.

"I do not!" The captain cried in frustration.

"Da, you do!" Chekov said.

"We'll you're lucky no one else saw that." Kirk said beginning to see he funny side of things.

"I vouldn't be so sure Keptin," the boy remarked pulling up the screen view of a lesser used observation deck. The ENTIRE crew was laughing their head off over the replaying of their Captain's girlish scream.

"Chekov?"

"Yes Keptin?"

"Run."


	2. Loose

Loose

The first thing that Doctor McCoy did when he got a new uniform was loosen the neck. That thing was way too tight. Even though everyone else seemed to be fine with the tight color, Lenard couldn't breath. He blamed it on his thick Georgian neck. That thing would course him for the rest of his days.

(sorry it's short. I'll have a longer one up on Monday)


	3. May

(I own nothing)

May

May seemed to be everyone's least favorite month. Aboard the Enterprise, May was the month in which everything happened. People got lost, plants were destroyed, random red shirts died. It just all happened in May. So everybody was prepared, because they knew that this year, May would come in like a lion and out like two.

(Thanks for all of your great reviews! Here are my stats; 7 reviews, 15 followers, 14 favorites, and 624 VIEWS! You guys rock!)


	4. Been

Been

Who knows what Spock had been through. He never tells any of us. Nothing. He locks it away. We can only wonder. How he spent his childhood, how he grew up. He claims not to have emotions or a heart. But now that I'm tangled in his arms, I know that he does. I can feel it. My name is Nyots Uhura and I can feel everything commander Spock has ever been through.


	5. Coon

Coon

Being a southern man, the first thing McCoy cried when he saw it was;

"Coon!" He hated the things. The ringed tails and the black eyes. Nothing could stop them from taking everything they wanted.

So when Jim picked up by the tail and Sulu snickered and Chekov pocked it with a stick, Bones was all but mystified at their bravery.

After all, it was a raccoon.


	6. Pie

Pie

Uhura love cherry pie. Especially when her mother cooked it. There was something about the burnt crust and over cooked fruit that made it so very special.

She couldn't go home this year. They had run into a Klingon ship that had almost blown them up entirely. They couldn't make it home for the holidays.

She found a package sitting on her bed one afternoon after her shift. She opened it with caution to find a burned cherry pie inside with a note.

'You owe Scotty your bottle of scotch, Spock wants some help on an experiment, Sulu wants a new samurai sword, McCoy wants your next three phone calls home, and Chekov didn't ask for anything, but he deserves the best math book you can find.'

She smiled. The next day, the Captain would find a piece of burnt cherry pie in his chair.


	7. Dry

Dry

What could he say? The desert was dry. Sulu grabbed at his throat, wanting nothing but water. The Enterprise would come soon. They had to.

It was another three hours before Chekov could confirm his position.

He was beamed up immediately. Once he was on board, he was rushed to med with every single member of the bridge crew never leaving his side.

It took two days for him to wake up and another week for him to begin walking. Every single free second the crew could find was spent with him.

Sulu felt very special.


End file.
